The Eurovision Song Contest is back this year, and it's set to be an exciting, cringey, hilarious spectacle as usual.
And aside from the time-worn annual traditions, such as sweepstakes, dressing up in the colours of your favourite country, failing to pronounce Azerbaijan, and watching that one country taking things FAR too seriously, one thing is certain: The UK will be pretty close to the bottom of the table.
But, this year Joe and Jake have been selected by the public for the Eurovision final , and hopefully they will have a good shot of avoiding the dreaded 'nul points' with their song You're Not Alone.
And what if their song means that things are different this year, and we actually win for the first time since Katrina and the Waves triumphed in 1997 with Love Shine A Light? Here's what we predict would happen.
We'd probably host the following year's contest at Wembley Stadium
Wembley Stadium would definitely be up for the challenge of hosting the Eurovision Song Contest 2017, meaning west London would have to prepare to accommodate some colourful characters from the continent. To show it was up to the task, though, Wembley's arch would probably light up in patriotic red, white and blue for the occasion.
Someone would still give us "nul points"
It's a running joke now that we always do terribly in Eurovision, but we bet that even as hosts and defending champions in 2017 we'd still be getting "nul points" from plenty of different countries.
The UK's song would catapult straight to Number One
If Joe and Jake win the Eurovision Song Contest with their song You're Not Alone, you'd better start learning the lyrics, as that song would be going straight to Number One.
The Queen would definitely join in
She was a good sport and pretended to dive out of a helicopter during the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony, so she would DEFINITELY get involved if the UK won Eurovision and had to host it.
We're picturing her belting out a full-on ballad while the rest of the country weeps with joy.
There would probably be a street party or two
English people rarely need an excuse to hold an outdoor street party, but if we win on Saturday (May 14), we can predict with certainty that Sunday will see streets across the country filled with streamers, food and music.
Here are some cake recipes you can bring to the table if a spontaneous street party breaks out.
We would probably put forward a joke act for 2017
There would be no pressure to do well in 2017 if we won in 2016, so we're guessing there would probably be a joke act or two going for UK Eurovision glory... Like The Chuckle Brothers or Boris Johnson .
Though knowing us, they would probably do better than any serious act we put forward. We can hope, anyway.
Could we actually win Eurovision this year?
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Here's everything you need to know about this year's Eurovision , including the UK act and where to watch.