Have you ever had a cake so scrummy you want to eat it five times over?
Never mind about feeling sick or like you may burst, if a cake tastes THAT good, you have to have it again and again.
Just like an amazing theatre show, when you love a good cake, you'll keep going back for more. With that in mind, it's no surprise "Wicked" is celebrating 11 years on the West End.
Lovers of the show are in for an extra treat at the Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park, which is putting on a glorious Wicked-themed afternoon tea bursting with devilishly good flavours and no-expenses-spared treats.
I was lucky enough, along with fellow hack Charlotte Tobitt - let's call her Tobes for short - to sample the delights in the swanky hotel; it's one of the best in the world, don't you know?
Feeling completely out of place but we so didn't care, we took a squishy pew at a grand-looking table for two in The Rosebery Lounge - I ordered the Wicked tea, Tobes the "normal" tea; its new menu was launched just last week.
We sipped delicious pink champagne, tea from a selection of 40 fine and rare types, coffee, you name it, we drank it.
Then, the moment of truth... plate after plate of dainty sandwiches, cakes and pastries arrived, placed on a stand to the side of our table, floating above our coffees just like Elphaba on her broom.
I actually dribbled (please don't tell anyone).
Featuring desserts by the hotel's executive pastry chef, Paul Thieblemont, the afternoon tea takes you on a magical mystery, gravity-defying tour of the untold stories of the Witches of Oz.
You are whisked away to the Wonderful Land of Oz with a pistachio cupcake; you find out what shoes to wear with Glinda’s sparkly chocolate slippers and learn the proper poise on a vanilla broom biscuit.
The latter was soooo tasty I could have cried, as was Elphaba's milk chocolate mousse and caramel hat, which slightly resembled the poo emoji, only fuelling my love for it.
I wasn't so keen on the Matcha and hazlenut finger topped with Glinda's sparkly shoe, but I don't actually like Matcha, so that's my fault entirely.
The tea even comes with a Wicked chocolate lollipop, complete with a shot glass full of chocolate drops. Cue another dribble.
But, if like me you're a savoury nut, then sandwich selection will blow your mind.
Read and weep... slow roasted organic chicken and buttered corn; Cotswold egg with white asparagus and black truffle; smoked salmon tartare with granny smith apple, horseradish and crème fraîche; compressed cucumber, spring peas panna cotta and mint; Portland crab, crayfish, curry mayonnaise, coriander and carrot; Confit tuna, piquillo peppers and green olives.
My favourite, by a country mile, was the smoked salmon tartare sandwich. All were delicately folded into mini sandwiches, almost like a little handbag - perfect for one big mouthful or two littlies. Nom.
And just when we thought it couldn't get much better, our waitress, while refilling the before-mentioned pink champagne, informed us we could eat as many plates of desserts and sandwiches as we liked.
*silently screams and jumps around*
Then, when we were suitably plump, out came the scones - plain and raisin - hot from the oven, with clotted cream, rose petals jam and lemon curd.
Just when I reached the point where I thought I'd never need to eat again, our waitress plopped a little chocolate truffle on its own plate before us and kindly boxed some treats in a takeaway bag... lunch the next day sorted.
At £53 per person (£28 for munchkins) it is certainly one for a special occasion - you'll be thoroughly spoilt and leave grinning like a Cheshire moggy high on catnip.
Tobes' five-word review: "Delicious, luxurious, indulgent, just right."
How to book
For bookings or more information about the WICKED Afternoon Tea, contact reservations at Mandarin Oriental Hyde Park, London, directly on + 44 (0) 20 7201 3828 or via email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Guests wishing to further experience Wicked by attending the musical may contact the concierge team for show tickets directly on + 44 (0) 20 7201 3779 or via email email@example.com.