MOTORMOUTH Ruby Wax has had it all - career, dream house, husband and kids - but people soon realised something was amiss when she painted her home the same shade of beige for the 47th time!
There was only one thing for it: send her to the Priory!
The American comedienne's acerbic wit and worldly wisdom, combined with music by folk-jazz singer Judith Owen, create a show which is vulnerable and thought-provoking as well as laugh-out-loud funny.
Suitable for over-14s only.
what? Ruby Wax - Losing It
where? Beck Theatre, Grange Road, Hayes, UB3 2UE
when? Saturday, April 24, 8pm
call: 020 8561 8371
Bob the comedian
AFTER bursting on to the London comedy scene in 1985, Bob Mills enjoyed critical acclaim for turning the faltering 'alternative' establishment on its head with his unique brand of laddish, irreverent stand-up.
He has since established himself as one of the most successful live acts in the country, as well as enjoying a string of radio and television credits including Win, Lose or Draw, plus more than 200 shows for VH1, including documentaries and interviews with the likes of Cher, Phil Collins and Eric Clapton.
Bob will be joined by Imran Yusef, who is renowned for his lyrical street-slang and high energy performances, and has been hailed as 'the new king of comedy' by Asian newspaper Eastern Eye.
what? Bob Mills and Imran Yusef
where? Comedy Bunker, Ruislip Golf Centre, Ickenham Road, West Ruislip< HA4 7DQ
when? Tonight (Wednesday) at 8.45pm (doors open 8.15pm)
It Shore sounds like Elvis
LIFELONG Elvis fan Anthony Shore will pay homage to his hero on Friday night in Ruislip.
Shore, who is said to have an uncanny visual and vocal likeness to the King, joined forces with the Memphis to Vegas Band - made up of three guitarists, a keyboard player and a drummer - last year. They will be joined by backing duo the Memphettes.
Expect to hear a whole host of hits from All Shook Up to Jailhouse Rock and Suspicious Minds.
what? Elvis Now and Forever
where? Tropic at Ruislip, Ruislip Social Club, Grosvenor Vale, Ruislip, HA4 6JQ
when? Friday, April 23
cost? £10 (£8 in advance)
call: 01784 460 094 or 07956 553 609
Discover what tastes chime with you
A MOUTHWATERING range of events will be on the menu during the Chimes Taste Weekend.
This three-day food extravaganza will bring together a selection of world cuisines in Uxbridge for the first time.
Jenny McNeil, a chef with more than 20 years' experience, now runs The Ginger Jar, a company specialising in herbs, spices and tisanes (herbal infusions).
She will make a selection of quick and easy Thai dishes on Friday at 11am, noon, 1pm and 2pm.
Celebrity chef Lesley Walters, of Ready Steady Cook fame, will create healthy summer dishes on Saturday at 11am, 1pm and 3pm.
Then Jean-Christophe Novelli's right-hand man, the aptly-named Stephen Kitchen, will demonstrate easy dishes on a budget on Sunday at 11am, 1pm and 3pm.
The weekend will also offer visitors a taste of food and drink from restaurants in the shopping centre, including chicken wings from Nando's, pizza tossing and tasters from Pizza Express and mini-fish and chips and free coffee from Debenhams' restaurant.
what? Chimes Taste Weekend
where? The Chimes shopping centre, High Street, Uxbridge, UB8 2EW
when? From Friday (23) until Sunday (25), 11am-3pm
call: 01895 819 400
Right said Ted
MAKE your own cuddly toy at a teddy bear fun day at St Paul's Church in Ruislip Manor.
The day features an array of activities for children of all ages including arts and crafts, a teddy tombola and stalls laden with books and toys.
Stay for lunch in the teddy bear picnic area, then go on a treasure hunt around the church garden.
what? Teddy bear fun day
where? St Paul's Church, Thurlstone Road, Ruislip Manor, HA4 0BP
when? Saturday, April 24, 11am-2pm
cost? 50p (children free)