The mother who murdered Hillingdon teenager Alfie Stone revealed her own cousin was stabbed to death just days after the incident that saw her jailed, in an emotional letter.
In a letter handed to Judge Richard Marks QC at the Old Bailey at her sentencing on Wednesday morning (April 27), Maxine Benson apologised to the family of the 18-year-old she knifed through the heart in a row over some stolen pasta in Ickenham last November.
The letter, read out in court, stated she knew the pain of losing a loved one and "regretted every day" the murder she said was an accident as she "forgot" she was holding the knife and had only picked it up to scare Alfie and his brother.
The 32-year-old, of no fixed address, wrote: "I want to say how devastated I am for the Stone family, I don't want you to have mercy on me. I feel I deserve to be dead.
"I see Alfie's mum every day in court, I see the heartbreak in her eyes and know what it's like to lose a child."
'I feel God has taken a life from me for the one I took'
The mother, who had taken her own children to school on the morning of the murder, added: "I wish I could replace Alfie's life with mine.
"I love my daughter with all my heart and when my daughter cries and says she misses me I know what I have done to Alfie's family.
"My cousin was stabbed to death two days after Alfie died and his killers still haven't been caught.
"I feel God has taken a life from me because of the life I took - not a day goes by when I don't truly regret what I've done."
Judge Marks nevertheless sentenced Benson to 23 and a half years for the murder he described as a "senseless, mindless killing", saying the red mist had "well and truly descended".
Alfie's mother Diane Stone said in a statement that her "world had ended" the day her son was killed .
Benson was found guilty on Tuesday of Alfie's murder , whose brother was saved by paramedics after being injured himself in the attack.
Two friends - Corine Cripps, 29, of High Road, Ickenham, and Steven Hawgood, 28, of Kingston Avenue, West Drayton - who allegedly egged her on were cleared of murder and the jury eventually discharged after failing to agree on a verdict on the lesser charge of manslaughter.
A decision is yet to be made on whether to seek a retrial for the pair.