A firefighter who tackled the flames at Grenfell Tower has written a poignant, heartbreaking poem, detailing how the blaze left him “emotionally ruined”.
Ricky Nuttall penned "The Firefighter", which highlights the trauma and heartbreak he and his colleagues have been through since the devastating blaze on June 14, and he sent it to politicians and celebrities, including Sadiq Khan, Russell Brand and JK Rowling .
Earlier this week a senior firefighter revealed a number of crew and staff had received counselling and help following the disaster.
Mr Nuttall is a member of Red Watch at Battersea and during his 13 years as a firefighter has been stationed at Knightsbridge and Hillingdon.
The dad, 36, wrote the poem at his home in Croydon around a week after the disaster.
He said: “It was easy to write. It literally fell out in about five minutes. It wrote itself.”
In the 24-line poem, Mr Nuttall writes how he is “broken” and that his “heart can’t be mended”.
He speaks of his mental and physical exhaustion and says the tragedy has “left a hole in my soul that will never repair”.
He is now seeking expert help to deal with the horrors he saw not just on the night of the fire, but before as well.
“I have been to counselling and I and I still currently go to counselling” he said.
“I have had eight sessions since Grenfell.
“Grenfell was the catalyst for a lot of other incidents and stuff coming to the fore.
“It’s a collective thing, not just Grenfell. It’s other countless incidents I have attended over the years.”
The Firefighter, by Ricky Nuttall:
I’m staring blankly
Frankly I am broken
My heart can’t be mended
Befriended or woken
An emptiness consumes me
In sorrow I’m soaked
My words can’t be heard
As I’m strangled and choked
As tears stripe each cheek
With a trail of sadness
My soul is stained black
With the screams. With the madness.
The pain of such tragedy
The waste of such life
The death of a husband, his children, his wife.
The stairs were too many
My breaths were too few
My body exhausted. Now mentally too.
The silence of death. My smoke stained hair
A hole in my soul that will never repair
The feeling of failure and pride that combine
To leave confused and abused in my mind
My lips wet with tears. I am lost. There is no plan.
Emotionally ruined. 1 broken man.
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