Life for the parent of a little baby is not easy.
Things that you enjoyed BC (before children) - such as pampering yourself and enjoying a bit of me-time - fly out of the window.
Instead, you're faced with a mountain of soiled nappies, incessant crying and wondering how something so small can turn your life on its head.
But perhaps one of the biggest challenges a mum or dad will face will be the battle to get their child to sleep.
Getting your baby’s sleep routine in order is considered one of the hardest aspects of parenting to master, and has spawned a multi-million pound industry.
Baby gurus advise everything from "the controlled crying method" where you don’t immediately pick up your baby when they cry, to the "no cry method" where parents are advised to do everything to prevent tears.
Now journalist Emily-Jane Clark, who describes herself as “the victim of two sleep-hating babies”, has cut through the jargon with her no-nonsense guide for the modern mum or dad.
Emily-Jane’s guide to a baby’s sleep routine is from her pithily titled new book Sleep is for the Weak: How To Survive When Your Baby Won’t Go The F**K to Sleep.
1. Get yourself ready for bed!
Babies can take hours to fall sleep, so make sure you’re comfortable and ready to slip straight into your own bed with your baby once you have given up trying to put the child down in the cot.
Emptying the bladder is also recommended.
Like everything in parenting, organisation is key!
Have a wee (see above) and make sure your smart phone is fully charged, because trying to get your baby to sleep is a good opportunity to enjoy some quality screen time.
You may be trapped in a dark room with a baby but you have the world at your fingertips.
3. Transfer ready!
Is your baby drowsy but awake?
Then she is NOT Transfer Ready.
Wait until she is in a deep sleep. Then wait another ten minutes, just to be sure.
4. Only you!
If your baby refuses to sleep anywhere other then ON you, then rest assured this is completely normal.
The solution is simple.
You must drink lots of coffee until the phase passes.
5. Sleep crutch!
It is very useful to make a rod for your own back by creating a sleep crutch for your child.
If your baby will only sleep in bed with you; let them (although, this is not advisable if you smoke, drink alcohol or sleep on a bed of nails etc etc).
If she will only settle after a feed; then feed her.
If you need to rock or sing her into dreamland – do it.
These popular sleep-crutches have been successfully getting babies to sleep for thousands of years.
6. Learn not to sleep!
Trying to get a baby to sleep when you have been awake for three long days is tough, but do not fear!
Babies are highly adept at training their parents not to sleep through the night.
Eventually your body will become accustomed to the sleepless nights and despite what Google may tell you at 4am – you will not die of sleep-deprivation.
7. Eye contact!
It is very important that you make eye contact with your baby when settling them at night.
That adoring look they give you at 2am is often the only thing that will help you make it through the night.
The baby is finally asleep!
Sleeping babies have the ability to sense when their parent is about to leave the room.
To avoid waking the baby you must exit with extreme caution.
Do not breathe, do not rush and whatever happens do not look back.
Pour yourself a glass of wine!
Your work is done. Relax (for about 15 minutes until the baby wakes up again).
Repeat this method every night and rest assured you will enjoy a good night’s sleep again, at one point.
Emily-Jane told The Mirror : “I was inspired to write it because I believe parents need to know that it is totally normal for babies to wake up at night.
“They will sleep alone eventually - that is a fact!”
She has now put all of her parenting musings into a book, Sleep is for the Weak How To Survive When Your Baby Won’t Go The F**K to Sleep, available on Amazon .
Keep up to date with the latest news in west London via the free getwestlondon app.
You can even set it to receive push notifications for all the breaking news in your area