SO, DOES God exist? And if so, does he have a sense of humour? What do you think?
The reason I ask is that we had a bit of an incident at the comedy club recently, an outbreak of fundamentalism. Muslim comic Shazia Mirza was the headline act and she attracted quite a nice, racially mixed audience, a good few of whom seemed to be Muslim. It was a lovely crowd.
However, there was one group of four, who had clearly come to see Shazia, and arrived late with a very distracting burst of chair-scraping and loud conversation while the first act was on.
They sat down just long enough to hear a joke about the Koran.
And then that was it, they were off, aiming for a place in the Guinness Book of Records for the quickest departure from a comedy club for reasons of offence taken at a religious joke.
Yes, out they went with yet more chair-scraping and loud conversation, expressing anger and disgust that the comic had offended Allah and demanding their money back. (Hmm, stroke of the chin, given that respect seems to be the issue here, what about the people in the comedy club, who having paid their money to be entertained, had been offended by the noise they made? But I'm not allowed to say that, so I won't).
When Shazia came on later, she made a joke about it: "I heard the Muslims went back to the mosque," she said.
And you have to wonder, what kind of almighty, all-seeing, all-powerful God would be so insecure that he would be offended by a man on a stage in West Ealing making a joke about one of his books?
Because, I reckon anyone who created human beings must have a bit of a sense of humour, don't you? Let's face it we're all pretty ridiculous. Look at me, I only have to walk into a room and people laugh.
"I haven't even delivered the punch line yet," I protest, but it makes no difference, they just roll around the floor, wearing out the carpet.
The point is you have to be able to laugh at yourself in this life, and whenever anyone walks out of a comedy night, I think it always tells us more about the walker than the comic, whose job it is to make people laugh, and also to examine serious stuff like blancmange through the medium of humour.
But, if this argument still leaves you unconvinced that life is meant to be fun, what about this - any God that created pigeons must surely have a sense of humour?
Because, yes, it's spring and the pigeons are getting frisky. Have you seen the puffed up males out on the pull? Spinning round in dizzy desire, getting all excited only for the female to stroll away looking utterly bored. It's hilarious. Hours of fun, in the park, or in the high street. Yet nobody seems to notice this great free comedy show right in front of them.
We need to get everyone out in the street watching the great pigeon-on-the-pull show.
Because God wants us to laugh. Yeah, he thinks humour's good. And if God made humour and he likes it and thinks laughter's good, then he must approve of my comedy club, Downstairs at the Drayton, right? How about I get him to sponsor it? Downstairs at the Drayton, sponsored by God. Come down and laugh at the absurdity of your religious beliefs. Hey, don't be offended it was a joke. What's the worst that can happen? You'll either laugh, get to issue a fun fatwa or get your money back.
My good friend Reginald D Hunter once said on stage at the end of his act: "If you were offended by anything I said tonight, then grow up, it's comedy."
The original idea of comedy was to change human behaviour by holding it up to ridicule. So next time you're feeling a bit down, stand in front of the mirror naked. No, I didn't mean that...
Seriously, next time you're feeling a bit down, remember this... life is inherently absurd, ridiculous and pointless.
Have a nice day.
* Phil Zimmerman is resident comic Downstairs at the Drayton comedy club every Friday. Tonight at 9pm: Tony Law, Noel James. Next week: Paul Foot, Simon Lipson. Tickets £9 on the door or from www.wegottickets.com.
Or call 07853 664 877.