Interesting that Newcastle owner Mike Ashley covets QPR as a "model" for his own club.

Or more bluntly put, he wants three millionaires like those at Rangers sharing the load unlike his solo show at St James'. The trick then, Mike, is to get your own Gianni Paladani.

What better than a football agent working FOR a club?

They've got dozens of contacts, and when it comes to making money in the game - they're a far better bet than any football club.Fly old Paladini saw the way forward the second he walked into the club five years ago.

And, contrary to speculation (and hopes in some quarters), the chairman has so far survived the new regime of Flavio Briatore, Bernie Ecclestone and Lakshmi Mittal. It's not difficult to see why.

If you've got someone who can save a near-bankrupt club almost single-handedly, why get rid of the type of man that Ashley needs right now?

The Magpies man needs a "broker" to attract money from the loaded, as yet untapped. After all, Briatore thought QPR was some sort of barbecue restaurant when it was first mentioned to the motor racing magnate.

Since when, Flav-or of the year has served up near s30m-worth of sponsorship, thanks to his own networking with the rich-and-famous.

Fulham's new CEO Alistair McIntosh is known to favour footballers' contracts linked purely to results. You win, and it's this number of thousands of pounds - you lose, and it's beans, boys.

So what not-so-iron Mike needs is Gianni McIntosh - an amalgam of profitable accountancy with a list of phone numbers just waiting to be courted by the beautiful game.