DAN HODGES: BICYCLE AND TRAIN
What I think is a cunning plan to ride north, linking up with a new Overground train that will cut straight through the borough, begins badly with an early incident of road rage.
Paused at a traffic light in Scrubs Lane, my handlebar gently clips a car's wing mirror, prompting the alpha male driver to beep his horn, roll down his window and let forth a volley of abuse.
The lights change and he speeds off, immediately and dangerously cutting left in front of me. But I sense his agitation and hold back, emerging unscathed from the fracas and free to ride on to the borough's northernmost fringe.
Actually getting into Willesden Junction is harder than I expect; one entrance has many steps down and a tide of people surging up them, so I ride the long way through the outskirts of Harlesden and into Station Approach.
There is a nagging doubt in my mind that bikes are not allowed on the Overground, but I have no cause for worry – the ticket officer nods me through and I carry my heavy transport up and down the station's maze of undulating tunnels.
I find platform five and note that the 4.38pm train to Clapham Junction should whisk me to Imperial Wharf in just 14 minutes, although it turns up two minutes late.
My anxious brain then imagines that the rush hour carriages will be too jammed to accommodate a bike, but again, my fears are allayed when the train turns out to be empty. It fills up heading south, though, and I feel guilty for taking up so much space that I put three fold-down seats out of service. A brief attempt at listening to music on my headphones is interrupted when a woman taps me on the elbow and demands that I move.
There is a lift at Imperial Wharf, but also a queue of buggies, so for the sake of speed I pick up the bike once more and skip down several flights of stairs.
I find myself disorientated among the area's luxury tower blocks, but after a wrong turn make it onto the Thames Path and speed away, keeping one eye on the sight of a helicopter lifting off on the other side of the river.
I pull up outside the pub to chain my bike to a lamppost, glance across at the nearest car and see Greg sitting in traffic and looking back at me. At which point I realise I am the winner, my chest swelling with smug pride as I push through the swing doors of the Hurlingham.
JOURNEY TIME: 50 minutes COST: £1.40 Oyster pay-as-you-go
GREG BURNS: CAR ALL THE WAY
Driving from Wormwood Scrubs to Wandsworth Bridge. At 4.15pm. On a Friday.
Throw those three ingredients into the cauldron that is Hammersmith and Fulham rush hour and you have yourself a lethal potion of endless traffic jams and road rage.
But I was pleasantly surprised after foolishly holding my hand up to volunteer to bravely get behind the wheel of my car for the Chronicle challenge.
After I finished chuckling at the sight of Adam sprinting to Wood Lane tube I cruised down towards Shepherd's Bush in a matter of minutes. In fact, the only thing bearing the brunt of my frustrations were the endless traffic lights.
I had my sat-nav on to gauge distance (4.6 miles) and predicted finishing times rather than to get any directions or short-cuts.
It was telling me a much quicker route to south Fulham but if I was really going to test out of the borough's roads I needed to cut right down the middle.
Out onto Shepherd's Bush Green and I was making good time. I had a feeling I would be at the Hurlingham in under 20 minutes. How naïve.
I turned into Shepherd's Bush Road and was greeted by gridlock. Roadworks had created a bottleneck towards Hammersmith town centre and it took me 25 minutes to crawl the one mile distance.
Luckily my car radio provided solace, blaring out perfect driving tracks such as 'We Built this City on Rock and Roll'. The perk of a car.
I was then bracing myself for my next obstacle. The dreaded Fulham Palace Road. Many an hour I have spent on that stretch especially with ongoing roadworks.
But, by the time I reached it, at just gone 4.45pm, it was deserted and I did not hit any more traffic on my journey.
A smooth passage along Lillie Road, North End Road and into Fulham Broadway before a gentle drive down Harwood Road and Wandsworth Bridge Road and towards the Hurlingham pub.
My joy was quickly dashed as I waited at traffic lights outside the finish line when I looked out of my window to see Dan cycle around the corner and pip me to the post.
I have the feeling I may have had a lucky experience. I was quite prepared for a one-and-a-half hour drive, at the least, but made it in just 51 minutes.
I imagine if I had left at 5.15pm as opposed to 4.15pm that may well have been the case.
JOURNEY TIME: 51 minutes. COST: £5 petrol (estimated)
ADAM COURTNEY: BUS AND TUBE
Just two modes of transport but a myriad of options. A 211 to Hammersmith and then the District Line to Parsons Green? Or a Hammersmith and City Line tube to Hammersmith from Wood Lane and a 295 straight to Wandsworth Bridge Road? In the end I plump for neither and decide to go left field.
Noticing the traffic looks gridlocked from Scrubs Lane and knowing from bitter experience the perils of bus travel along Fulham Palace Road, I instead reckon a Central Line Tube from White City to Notting Hill and then a District Line to Fulham Broadway via Earl's Court is the best bet. From Fulham I'll pick up the 295 and, Bob's your uncle, I'm there. Simple. Or so it could have been.
My first mistake is misjudging the distance from Scrubs Lane to White City, and if I'm going to have a chance of winning this thing, it's obvious I'll need to jog it.
The run takes four minutes and it leaves me out of breath and sweating more than an excitable colt before the Derby, but the Tube is approaching when I lurch on to the platform and I'm in Notting Hill Gate in five minutes.
The walk from Central to District Lines is a trek in itself, though, and it's eight minutes before I'm on the train to Earl's Court.
I'm now 32 minutes into the challenge and I begin to fear the worst when we grind to a halt in the tunnel, but we're away again in no time and, luckily, the connection to Fulham Broadway is waiting on arrival.
Being the competitive so-and-so that I am, I'd by now forgotten why I'm doing this and am just desperate to beat my fellow hacks. With only five more minutes totted up by the time I get to Fulham, I'm feeling confident.
But then disaster. As I emerge from the station and into Harwood Road, a 295 is spewing its way into the distance.
I reassure myself with the cliché that buses come in twos but the second one doesn't show. I stomp towards New Kings Road, hoping, forlornly, that a service will follow. I continue to walk and get to the top of Wandsworth Bridge Road and wait. And wait. And wait. Until, finally, a double decker jerks round the corner.
Packed to the rafters, we move 100 yards in five minutes before I decide to jump ship and sprint the short distance to our meeting point.
My journey takes 72 minutes and I'm left to rue my missed bus. It was the difference between dead-heating with the other two and coming a humiliating and well-beaten last.
Thank God a pint was waiting for me.
JOURNEY TIME: 72 minutes COST: £3.80 Oyster pay-as-you-go
CONCLUSIONS: The lack of a direct north-south Tube link in the borough remains a hindrance, although the new Overground link is as an excellent, cheaper alternative and more frequent services would be welcome. Driving or catching the bus can be quick, if you're lucky – but there are plenty of black spots where lengthy traffic jams can spring up, and which need attention. Cycling is the most reliably speedy way of getting around, for those who are confident on the roads and prepared to deal with the occasional aggressive driver.
Hammersmith and Fulham Council has launched a campaign to imnprove transport in the borough and is looking for residents views. To learn more or have your say click here .