I HAVE never joined Facebook, Twitter or the like because I’ve never felt the need to broadcast to the nation. And I’m sure the nation feels the same way about me.

But after doing an MA recently in creative writing I realised that it’s probably a good idea to link up with other writers, as I enjoyed that contact during the course.

As a freelance you have to pay your own tax, pitch your own stories, give yourself advice (even if it’s bad), so it’s good to be part of a community.

I was recommended to go on LinkedIn, a site for like-minded professionals to swap details of background, education and job history.

Current contacts start a chain reaction to others, all sharing something, if only a website.

It’s a directory so, thank God, no requirement to broadcast what you had for breakfast or post grinning party pictures.

Trouble is, my LinkedIn profile seems to have a mind of its own, and keeps changing my area from Uxbridge to Southall, so people are not sure if it IS me.

Also, everyone in my email address book automatically received an ‘invitation’ from me, so I’ve had puzzled emails from octogenarian relatives asking if it’s safe to view information about me – and what are they supposed to do with it?

An amused Mr F has also responded.

It went completely bonkers when I absentmindedly logged on to LinkedIn using my second email address (the one on this page) and found I had joined AGAIN.

Consequently I received an invitation asking me to link in with myself. Hmm...

Now I have a horrible feeling that all my email contacts are getting repeated requests so can I please say here: ignore me.


n After my ‘plantain crisp’ story last week, a reader tells me of a relative who, having just moved from the north of England, went to feed the water fowl with his son.

As they crossed an area of scruffy riverside, they saw a man doing the same with his son.

“Tarquin, quick,” boomed the father. “Bring the ciabatta across the terrazzo.”

He knew then he’d arrived in Chiswick!