I must share an embarrassing experience I had recently when visiting my brand new dentist in Uxbridge.
The check-up was fine but it was when I returned for a small filling that I disgraced myself.
The dentist was happily drilling away when I started choking; I mean really choking, on that annoying spray they pump into your mouth. My frantic hand and eyebrow signals and strange guttural sounds, eventually persuaded him to stop, but only just in time to prevent me from gurgling my way to oblivion.
We were both recovering from my histrionics when I noticed he was changing his gloves. My face was redder than my favourite cabernet sauvignon when his nurse explained it was because his original pair was covered in my lipstick.
So much for the blurb which had said my lippie (Passion Red if anyone is interested) was guaranteed not to smudge or be removed by 'anything'. Though in all fairness it didn't mention whether they'd tested how it might react to a latex glove shoved in your mouth.
You would think the humiliation I had heaped on myself couldn't get any worse, but when the dentist finally finished my filling and said 'bite' I was amazed to hear him cry out when I closed my gnashers [2026] hard.
Through gritted (but beautifully maintained) teeth, the poor man explained, as if to a two-year-old who had never been to a dentist before: "I did not say bite.I was actually saying 'light' to the nurse."
Thankfully he saw the funny side but he probably fervently wished, instead of having to deal with mad, choking redlipped women who bite,his career teacher had recommended pharmacy or physiotherapy to him instead. [25a0] WHINGE of the week: Can you believe how long the work took at Uxbridge Tube station and how the scaffolding eventually became a tourist attraction? Thank goodness it's now gone.
As one reader pointed out to me: 'I'm sure it didn't take half as long to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel'.
