I was sent to Hillingdon Hospital last week following a routine visit to my optician several weeks ago.
The high-tech machines which test our eyes these days can analyse so much that every tiny flaw has to be investigated, and 'a small freckle-like pigment spot' was discovered lurking at the back of my eye.
However, I was dumbfounded when the specialist at the hospital asked: "Have you been looking at solar eclipses?" When I incredulously said 'pardon?' he repeated it but left out the solar bit, probably thinking I was being blinded (ha!) by science.
However, there was no doubt; I was definitely being accused of staring knowingly, and with naked eyes, at the sun.
My mind wandered back to the time the Gazette staff stood on the roof at our office in Bakers Road, Uxbridge, united as only a bunch of weirdos in cardboard sunglasses can be, gazing at a rather cloudy sky, hoping for a spectacle.
Had I absent-mindedly peered around my cardboard defence? Did my plastic lenses have a tear? Was I now paying the price for my reckless actions?
The only other explanation, said Eye Man, is that the tiny scar could have established itself while I was still in my mother's womb.
I think I'll blame her. Better than being exposed as an irresponsible eclipse-watcher or, worse, someone who was conned into wearing rubbish goggles.
* I WAS so upset to read in the Gazette last week that 16 pubs have shut down in the borough, and I'm worried more may follow.
Mr F and I struggled to find a country pub recently near Andover and passed three boarded up alehouses before settling for a seedy substitute.
Depressions, recessions, repossessions, unemployment, no more Pick 'n' Mix at Woolworths ... all these things require us to support one another, and what better way than with a pint in the pub?
So, shouldn't we, at least once a week, put the wine bottle back in the rack, leave the meal in the supermarket, and spend some of our diminishing cash in our local pubs. If we lose any more we'll have only ourselves to blame.
Where else can we collectively drown our sorrows or celebrate our successes?
FINALLY: Thank goodness Barack Obama finally wrested the head boy's badge from Bush last week. Hold tight for the ride.
