In at least one way the news that Clive's producing fewer and fewer fruit is good news. It means that the office idiots will not be able to carry out their threat of bringing La Tomatina to Hounslow.

What is La Tomatina, you ask. Or maybe you already know.

It's a crazy festival held in Buñol, Spain on the last Wednesday in August every year. The 9,000 people who live in the Valencian town are joined by 20,000 plus tourists for a gigantic and brutal street battle where over-ripe tomatoes are pelted in all directions. Tons of the things.

If you don't fancy that, there's also dancing, parades, fireworks and a paella cooking contest.

The festival is officially in honour of the town's patron saints, Luis Bertràn and the Mare de Déu dels Desemparats (Mother of God of the Defenseless), a title of the Virgin Mary.

But don't think La Tomatina is some medieval tradition. The actual tomato war only started in the 1940s, and nobody's sure why.

Some say a group of teenagers started hurling them, an accidental lorry spillage got out of control or that the townsfolk saw it as a good chance to chuck stuff at local councillors.

Perhaps we should have La Tomatina in Hounslow, after all.