It is every Chelsea fan’s dream to play on the hallowed turf at Stamford Bridge.
Blues supporters go to bed at night thinking of netting at the Matthew Harding End or sparking the Shed into raptures with a wonder goal.
Maybe you want to make a surging late run into the box like Frank Lampard or perform a trademark Didier Drogba knee-slide.
Or do you want to salute the crowd by beating your chest in a show of passion like Chelsea’s captain, leader, legend - John Terry?
And don't forget, given the club are planning to re-develop Stamford Bridge into a new 60,000 capacity arena, time is running out to turn out at the current venue.
Well, if you’ve got plenty of cash, then it turns out you could actually turn those dreams into a reality.
Our pals at Mirror Football have been phoning around every Premier League club to find out who offers their pitch for hire during the close season.
Take a virtual tour of the new-look Stamford Bridge:
Surprisingly, most top-flight clubs responded by revealing they did offer such a service for fans wanting to experience the thrill of playing in their favourite ground.
But be warned, as you might expect, the privilege of gracing such stadia doesn’t come cheap.
Most Premier League clubs wait until January before deciding on final packages, mainly to see how badly the pitch has taken a battering over the season.
But if you get in early you have a very good chance of bagging a slot to play on the hallowed turf.
Right, let's see who charges what to play on the pitch.
Here are the pitches that are available for private hire, listed from cheapest to most expensive...
Norwich City - £1,500
So, unsurprisingly, the cheapest pitches to hire are those who may well be Championship teams by the summer.
Prices at Carrow Road start at just £1,500 (plus VAT. All these prices are plus VAT so expect them to be a little bit pricier than stated). Which between 30 of you (two squads of 15) is just £50 each. Bargain!
That gets you two hours in the stadium to warm up, take selfies or do whatever you wanna do.
Prices do range to £1,800 which would give you an extra hour to mull about and sign pretend autographs to the empty seats.
Norwich are also planning some extra packages for this summer, none of which include Delia Smith storming the pitch at half time to yell at you over the tannoy. We assume.
Sunderland - £1,500
The Play on the Pitch scheme at the Stadium of Light is also just £1,500 and for that you get three hours of pitch time and a meal after.
It also includes a man of the match presentation for the best player and a wooden boot for the worst. Seems a bit harsh when you've just shelved out £70 to play.
Newcastle United - £1,500
Rather surprisingly, the third biggest stadium in England is the second cheapest to hire out for a game... but there is a catch.
You only get it for 60 minutes.
For £1,500 you'll get a 60-minute booking of the St James' Park pitch, a ball, a referee and a post-match buffet for your players.
Also you only have to arrange one team and Newcastle will provide the oppo (hopefully not the actual Newcastle United first team), unless you want to bring your own, drastically reducing how much it will cost each player.
The price goes up if you want to play in the evening to cover the cost of the floodlights. No free Sports Direct garb, sadly.
Stoke City - £1,750
Potters fans also get a cheapish deal with packages starting at just £1,700, which works out at about £56 each.
The super lovely lady in the events team explained there are three deals; £1,750 for a midweek midday game; £2,000 for an evening game and £2,500 for a weekend kick about at the Britannia.
You can also pay a teeny bit extra to have two sets of kits with names and numbers on should you wish.
There won't though, be any in summer 2016 thanks to stadium renovations but it will definitely be back for 2017.
Watford - £1,800
For the same price you can hire out newly promoted Watford's Vicarage Road and for that you'll get: a 90-minute game on the pitch for two squads of 18 players, use of home and away dressing rooms and shower facilities, match officials, bottled water for each player, use of official match balls, free car parking, a Watford branded football signed by the players and up to a maximum of 100 spectators.
You won't, though, get Elton John serenading you from the touchline, sadly, and thanks to blooming pitch work this won’t be available until summer 2017.
Leicester City - £1,950
Yes, the Premier League leaders have one of the cheapest pitches around to hire, at just £1,950.
Now, for the nearly two grand at the King Power Stadium you get 90 minutes of action and access to the home and away changing rooms and dugouts - which is only fair enough as it would be weird to make those not playing sit in the stands or something. (No strangling opposition players though!)
Leicester let you have a maximum of 32 players, so 16 a side, making it about £60 each... which isn’t bad for a stadium that will host Champions League football next season. Bring your own kit, though, and expect this one to be waaaaaay more expensive next summer.
Crystal Palace - £2,500
Routinely voted the Premier League ground with the best atmosphere, Selhurst Park is just £2,500 to hire out for a game. Sadly, those Palace fans with the noisy chants and those aces displays aren't part of the package.
But what you do get is three hours plus access to changing rooms as well as a referee and first aiders and, of course, a ball.
Bring your own banners.
Everton - £4,000
For one of the oldest and most prestigious grounds in the Premier League, Goodison Park is surprisingly cheap to hire at around £4,000.
The corporate team at Everton couldn’t offer us firm prices but expected it to be under five grand. Sponsors, like other clubs, come first but there should be space for you and your mates to squeeze in a game in late May.
West Brom - £4,500
For the two weeks directly after the end of the season the Hawthorns is up for grabs, but the options are a bit strange.
You can either get it for a half day for £4,500 or a full day for £8,000. That's a lot of football! There may be options for a shorter slot too at a cheaper price but they’d prefer you to be there for a while.
For that you'll get the usual bits and bobs but also a stadium tour and 'mascot appearances' - not confirmed whether that means for little kids to walk the teams out or the bloke in the giant 'Baggie Bird' costume.
You'll also have to bring your own baseball cap if you're the home gaffer.
Southampton - £5,000
Prices for St Mary’s range from £4,000 to £5,000 depending on what time of day you want to play.
You'll get the full works for that including, crucially, St John's Ambulance for when you inevitably turn your ankle in the warm up and need an ice pack.
Aston Villa - £7,500
It’ll cost you around £7,500 to hire Villa Park out for a few hours, which is about as long as Remi Garde was Villa boss.
Packages for Villa fans to step onto the turf and run around a bit in front of the Holte End go up to £10,000, although it's not massively clear what that extra cash gets you. Perhaps the chance to be Villa’s new manager for a few games?
Tottenham - £14,950
The bigger the stadium the more money you'll need to fork out. Spurs fans will need to find nearly £15,000 to play at White Hart Lane.
For that you'll get the full works including kits for all players, access to the dressing rooms, pre and post-game hospitality and nibbles/somewhere to lie down and want to die afterwards when you realise how unfit you are.
Chelsea - £18,000
We're getting into serious money now, but then you'd probably expect that from a club as rich as Chelsea. To hire out Stamford Bridge you'll need to cobble together £18,000 and that's the 'standard' package. That gets you just use of the pitch for three hours.
For an extra four grand you can get the 'premium' package which gets you all sorts of stuff, including space for 100 spectators, referees, water bottles, portable changing rooms, safety steward, use of the perimeter advertising boards, access to the stadium microphone and PA and even a BBQ for everyone afterwards.
Like other clubs, though, the sponsors get first refusal on the pitch for the two weeks it is available and even Roman Abramovich sometimes hires it... unconfirmed if he plays though.
Arsenal - £30,000
And the most expensive pitch you can hire is the Emirates, with packages starting at around thirty thousands pounds.
But for this you get everything, and we mean EVERYTHING. Kits, changing room access, pre and post-match grub, all the match officials, ball boys and David Seaman's ponytail, which has been cryogenically frozen and is available for one of the goalkeepers to wear.
(Ok, that last one is made up, but for £30k you'll get properly looked after.)
But if you can't afford that, give the Arsenal switchboard a ring anyway and ask to be put through to hospitality. You'll be met with a pre-recorded message from Arsene Wenger telling you which numbers to hit for certain departments and it is quite frankly the best voicemail message we've ever heard. And it's FREE!
And those clubs who don't hire their pitches out...
Sadly there are some fans who won't be able to play on their respective hallowed turf as their favourite clubs don't offer their pitches out for hire. And they are...
Manchester United
Old Trafford is sadly not available to hire for you and your mates but there's a pretty good reason. Like most Premier League teams, Man United offer use of the pitch to their sponsors. This is pretty standard practice and most club sponsors get use of the pitch as part of their packages.
The thing is, United have FIFTY FOUR sponsors, meaning they book all the two weeks the pitch is available, leaving no space left for anyone else.
So your best bet is to apply for a job at any of their sponsors and then drop massive hints that you're a United fans and would, you know, just love to play at Old Trafford one day.
Liverpool
Liverpool used to offer chances for fans to play on the Anfield turf but thanks to the planned works on the new Main Stand all pitch hire packages are off the table for the time being.
Which could be 2017 but might even be 2018. And when they do bring them back it'll be sponsors first with the events team at Anfield not confident there will be opportunities for anyone else.
Sad face.
Manchester City
Again, if you're not one of the club's official sponsors, you probably won't get the chance to play at the Etihad. They do offer the Academy pitches for hire, though, and those are right next to the Etihad so it's almost like you're playing there. Sort of.
Swansea City
Sorry, Swansea fans, but The Swans don't hire the pitch for any external use other than associations such as West Wales, Swansea Senior League and others.
So, um... join them to get the chance to play at the Liberty.
West Ham
This was how the conversation went with the West Ham events team:
Mirror Football: "Will you offer the chance to lets fans play on the Upton Park pitch at the end of next season?"
West Ham: "No.”
MF: "Why not?"
WH: "Because Upton Park will be flats by then."
MF: "Oh yeah."
Bournemouth
Not something the south coast club does sadly, but they do hire out the 3G training pitches but they are booked up until the start of the season already.
What to do next
Ring your club now to see if there are any pitches left for this summer; get down the gym; buy some new boots and get ready to live out your dream of playing on the hallowed turf.
But what about Football Aid?
Yep, there is a charity called Football Aid who organise one-off games at the end of every season at most Premier League teams (and European ones) where you can play on the pitch.
But for that you are bidding to win one position in a team of randoms, whereas we're more interested in hiring the entire pitch for you and your mates to play an 11-a-side game on your own.
Please do support Football Aid though, it's a great day out for a brilliant cause.
While we're on the subject of Premier League grounds - take our quiz and see if you can identify every stadium...
