7 Christmas cracker jokes 'guaranteed' to make you laugh

These classic wise cracks are bound to have you chortling into your Christmas pudding

Bookmark
Share

By

Frederica MillerReporter

05:00, 25 DEC 2017

Video Loading

Even dads can struggle to find Christmas cracker jokes funny.

But the dramatic moans and eye-rolls that inevitably follow them being read out has become a Christmas tradition in itself.

These seven funny, albeit cringing, wise cracks, are bound to make even the most hardened of Scrooges smile.

So for Christmas' sake be generous and spread the cheer with these corny jokes this year.

How to spend Christmas in London

These classic wise cracks are bound to have you chortling into your Christmas pudding (Image: iStockphoto)

Most cracker jokes go down like a lead balloon but the fact that almost everyone finds them unfunny may make them the perfect icebreaker for an awkward Christmas get-together - it's worth a shot!

Keep up to date with the latest news in west London via the free getwestlondon app.

You can set up your app to see all the latest news and events from your area, plus receive push notifications for breaking news.

Available to download from the App Store or Google Play for Android.

Story Saved

You can find this story in My Bookmarks.Or by navigating to the user icon in the top right.

Metropolitan Police Man in 40s 'slashed' in daytime attack on Brixton's Coldharbour Lane as police arrest person A crime scene remains in place

Former Marco Pierre White restaurant being used by squatters secured by Police

One man has been arrested after locals reported a music event taking place in the disused restaurant

Police rush to Ealing home after 'gunshot heard' as officers comb area

Metropolitan Police

Bullet casings were found at the scene but there have been no arrests

Warning issued to schools as police probe 'dangerous' bone marrow injections 'offered to kids with autism'

Experimental procedures they wish to undertake 'pose a significant threat to life'

Man caught pleasuring himself near baby at Wood Green court after telling woman 'I can do what I want'

Justin Mcarthy, 44, exposed his penis in one of the two incidents

Metropolitan Police Man in 40s 'slashed' in daytime attack on Brixton's Coldharbour Lane as police arrest person A crime scene remains in place

Former Marco Pierre White restaurant being used by squatters secured by Police

One man has been arrested after locals reported a music event taking place in the disused restaurant

Police rush to Ealing home after 'gunshot heard' as officers comb area

Metropolitan Police

Bullet casings were found at the scene but there have been no arrests

Warning issued to schools as police probe 'dangerous' bone marrow injections 'offered to kids with autism'

Experimental procedures they wish to undertake 'pose a significant threat to life'

Man caught pleasuring himself near baby at Wood Green court after telling woman 'I can do what I want'

Justin Mcarthy, 44, exposed his penis in one of the two incidents

Pensioner standing for election 'would rather by lying on beach'

Janet Gayle is against traffic restrictions and parking permit price increases

Man in 40s 'slashed' in daytime attack on Brixton's Coldharbour Lane as police arrest person

Metropolitan Police

A crime scene remains in place

'Obsessively controlling and violent' Met Police officer jailed after 'campaign of abuse'

Metropolitan Police

Former Met Police officer Satjeet Dhanjal was jailed for four years after a campaign of 'horrendous physical and psychological abuse' against a woman - but he was granted anonymity at a tribunal 'due to concerns about his safety'

Stalker threatened ex-lover with acid attack and told her 'I'm from the streets, I don't care'

Dennis Galias told his victim he was 'ready to do anything' after she spurned his affections

Warning issued to schools as police probe 'dangerous' bone marrow injections 'offered to kids with autism'

Experimental procedures they wish to undertake 'pose a significant threat to life'

Survivors of London nail bombings 'want to forget' horrific attack but live with memories 25 years on

City of Westminster

MyLondon spoke to those impacted by the horrific bombing of Soho's Admiral Duncan pub which claimed the lives of three people and was one of three attacks on London's minority communities

East London man filmed beating pet dog in garden banned from owning pets

Tessa suffered damage to her teeth and legs, while she was also found by the RSPCA to be 15kg underweight

NHS rolls out new variant Covid vaccine as virus kills 100 a week

The new vaccination project started this week with jabs between now and June

'My flat was flooded with raw sewage - my landlord wants £15k before she'll fix anything'

The sewage flood is the latest of horrors after rat infestations, water leaks and boiler break downs

'You might not be a very good burglar' thief told as he's jailed again by judge with scathing quip

Paul McKenna appeared in better health some seven months after MyLondon last joined him for a sentencing hearing. This time he appeared with a barrister and didn't try to argue the court was in a different legal jurisdiction

Teenager, 19, stabbed as late-night attacker still on the loose

There have not been any arrests yet

Neighbour blasts bar 2.30am plans as 'nightmare' noise makes them feel like they're 'in a nightclub'

Noise complaints made against the venue are still being investigated by the council