Bm@il: Taste of life without a cooker or a fridge

It is always great to go to community events but, currently, if they involve eating it’s more than a treat for me. It’s a god-send.

We’re still having our new kitchen fitted, so I was delighted to be invited to a lunch in Harefield with the promise of hot food on a plate.

Ten days without a cooker has meant not tucking into anything crunchy – the penalty of microwaved food – and (oh, the shame) too many olives, bread, crisps and other easy things.

My body is so repulsed by biscuits now, that they stick to the roof of my mouth and refuse to budge.

We did start off eating salads but, without a fridge, the healthy stuff went off rapidly.

Veggies lasered in the microwave surrendered all taste and joined the rocket and tomatoes in the bin. Eating-out in restaurants and having take-aways in front of the TV soon palled when it ceased to be a treat.

Mr F’s body has rebelled too, in the shape of a whitlow on his thumb which got so huge it had to be lanced this morning at Uxbridge Health Centre. Ugh.

Anyway, back to my lunch where, rather than inviting a single after-lunch speaker, the Harefeld Conservatives had invited several guests, including me, who were willing to be grilled (grilled? yum) in a question-and-answer session, after we’d eaten.

My fellow ‘victims’ included a surgeon and a commercial pilot.

It was a great idea and worked really well.

For me, it was good to meet so many Gazette readers, though I was thrown when asked when my book’s coming out.

Mainly because I haven’t written one.

n I’VE always had a soft spot for Lisbon, which we’ve visited several times, so I was delighted to discover the country once sired a rather jolly sounding queen, who was my namesake.

Barbara of Portugal was born on this day – December 4 – in 1711 and was Queen of Spain from 1746 to 1758.

I couldn’t help thinking that Barbara of Birmingham has more of a ring to it, however.

Many years ago, as an after-dinner speaker at an all-male group, I was introduced as Barbara Windsor, which I suppose is the nearest I’ll ever get to such an aspiration.