Right, that's sorted. Internet research suggests that Clive is the ultimate metrosexual and has both male and female bits.
It still needed bumbling insects, the wind or one of us to help with moving the pollen about, but not an actual partner.
Have some of us accidentally had a sexual encounter with the tomato plant? Step forward photographer Matt.
There's no doubt that Clive has been a busy boy or girl because the branches are now heavy with tomatoes. Unable to find a suitable cane, resourceful reporter and allotment holder
Patsy Duffy has staked Clive to a large plastic axe she produced from under her desk. Very worrying.