There's no doubt about it, Clive is a shadow of its former self.

Came rain or shine, the plant sits out in the car park looking forlorn, unlikely to win more than black looks at any of the local horticultural society shows.

If the thing was a pet, while not yet ready to be put down, it would have to go to the vets. The dreaded blight scandal – when reporter Tom Shaw was suspected of being 'a carrier' having killed his own plants – is not the cause.

We reckon Clive is simply suffering from sheer exhaustion, having produced so many tomatoes in the first weeks. Staying with the pet theme, its been a bit like a mother dog giving birth to a series of huge litters.

Since you can't take a tomato plant to the vets, any medicine will have to be administered here. The editor tried a pep talk but Clive wasn't listening. It might be sulking after its 'ET finger' branch was removed during the drastic pruning. If Clive was a cat he's been fed, quite happily so far, on the cheapest own-brand food. So we're going to try the tomato plant equivalent of Sheba Rainbow Trout in Sauce flavour. But it could be a case of kill or cure.