Last week Sarah Ferguson, formerly known as Fergie (and many other monikers), decided to speak out on US television in defence of her ex-husband Andrew.

As I’m sure you’ve heard, Prince Andrew is in a spot of bother at the moment, but I’m not going to go into details about any of that for fear of being incarcerated in the Tower. Suffice to say she probably felt he needed a bit of support.

However, I’m not sure how much solace Andrew would have felt when his ex-wife appeared on America’s Today programme and decided to promote her ex-husband at the same time as the new food juicer she is endorsing (the actual reason she was on the show). Sarah rambled somewhat incoherently about what a fabulous man her ex is, that he’s her best friend and a ‘humongously good man’. Not a very regal adjective.

There was of course much media coverage of her outburst. Most of it seemed to concentrate on the fact that people don’t understand how the non-couple can be as close as they make out they are and don’t believe that they are, in her words, ‘the happiest divorced couple in the world’. But this is actually one of the few things that she has said which I do believe and it’s because I also have an excellent relationship with my ex-husband. It would seem however that finding someone else who has a good relationship with their ex-spouse is as rare as discovering an under-inflated ego in the Celebrity Big Brother house.

So due to my seemingly rare ‘happy-divorce’ condition, I was asked to discuss my thoughts on the Nick Ferrari programme on LBC. Nick asked, as most people do when I talk of my great friendship with my ex, how difficult it had been to create this good relationship after our separation and subsequent divorce? The answer is - not that difficult. Once the initial hurt and pain had passed, I realised that the man I had fallen in love with was still there and available to be part of my life. And although I wasn’t in love with him anymore (nor him me), his support, sense, wit and friendship was still available to me. So why on earth would I turn that away?

The Duke of York, Prince Andrew
The Duke of York, Prince Andrew
 

I know of so many people, both men and women, who waste so much time, effort and energy in hating their ex post-divorce, that they never move on with their lives. I find this desperately sad. Without sounding like a wannabe amateur psychologist, if someone harbours negativity or even hate for another person, the ‘hatee’ rarely feels it, but the ‘hater’ feels it all the time. Therefore who is the one that suffers with all that negativity? The person doing the hating.

For ex-partners, this is particularly awful when there are children involved. Although I wanted the good relationship with my ex for me, the other reason I pushed hard for it was because of our daughter Molly. I see other parents who can hardly stand being in the same room as each other with their children, which must be awful for the kids involved. In contrast, I love the fact that Molly sees her Dad and I getting on, having fun and being friends. Surely that’s hugely positive as she develops her understanding of relationships?

So, although I have never been a fan of Sarah Ferguson and find her desperation for fame and success in the US on the back of her Royal connection quite distasteful, I do empathise with her. I understand completely why she would want to back her ex-husband and I admire them both for keeping as close as they have done after many years apart. Would I call my ex-husband my best friend like she does? No. Would I want to live in the same house as him as the Yorks do? Definitely not. But I am happy to say that the closeness and friendship I have with my ex is the one thing I do have in common with Fergie. I just wish more people could manage to do the same.

NOTE TO SELF: Retaining friendships with an ex is not just for the sake of the kids.