Lady Gaga, whether you love or loathe her, has certainly made her mark on the world.
Her bizarre hats, carnivorous dresses and political campaigning all suggest she is a strong and confident woman. Yet despite this, several interviews she has given recently have touched on the bullying she endured as a schoolgirl.
Her weight, her hair and her creative expression all made her a target and sadly her experiences seem fairly commonplace. A study in 2000 revealed that 43% of children had been bullied by peers, made to feel different or discriminated against. This is seen in the choice of the Beat Bullying charity as one of the recipients of royal wedding donations, apparently reflecting Kate Middleton’s own experiences at school.
It’s not just children either - Emma Watson has recently had to deny claims that she is changing university to avoid bullies and a TUC/CBI survey estimates that bullying is the cause of 18 million lost working days a year.
So, bullying seems almost inevitable for a large section of the population, but as Lady Gaga and Kate Middleton demonstrate, doesn’t necessarily have to hold you back in life. Hmm, maybe not, but in an interview with Google, Lady Gaga said that the bullying she endured as a schoolgirl will never leave her. For her, the creation of a larger than life persona has allowed her to disown her painful feelings and live a different type of life. Whilst this can be a very effective defence, I wonder what happens to the painful feelings she leaves behind. Where do they get dealt with?
Being bullied is an isolating experience, and often part of becoming a bully is about not wanting to be ostracised by your peer group. I believe Bowlby was right when he said we all have an innate need to attach, to be in a good and enriching relationship; which makes it harder to understand why we spend so much time thwarting this desire. But there again, I also believe children and adults who have grown up knowing what it is to love and be loved, do not generally feel the need to hurt others.
If you or your family are experiencing bullying, there are several websites where you can get help and advice.
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/ResolvingWorkplaceDisputes/DiscriminationAtWork/DG_10026670
